The Dangerous Side Effects of Self-pity

Have you ever experienced self-pity? I think everyone has and it is OK to feel pity for yourself at times. But it is more important to come out of it. Self-pity can drag your life from not so good state to the worst state. If you allow it to persist, it will never leave you and you will end up hurting yourself and all your loved ones around you.

Self-pity sinks in when any unfortunate event takes place in your life and you and everybody else around you know that you do not deserve to suffer out of this. Abuse from a step parent, or from anyone whom you love, untimely death of a person you were emotionally dependent on or any unfortunate incident constantly happening with you which by now have shattered your faith on the goodness in the world.

During such times, it is this self-pity that gives us the most sought after comfort, a comfort which soothes your mind and soul. Once you get comfortable with self-pity, you get distant from your loved ones. You start to compare your life with others, trying to reason as to why only you have to go through such sufferings and in the course of time you tend to feel that no one attends to you and your needs. You absolutely overlook the fact that everyone’s life is made up of both privileged and ill-fated events and not only you. You intentionally ignore the measures that you should take, which could have healed the profound agony that now have settled in your heart, because you know that self-pity gives you the relaxation and the comfort.

But there are also many things which happen unintentionally once you give in to self-pity. You get distant from your well-wishers, either because of insecurity or because of demanding too much attention. Your happiness becomes momentary because now it depends upon someone igniting your self-pity or someone who continuously feeds to your needs. You can’t tolerate those people who are happy with themselves because inside your heart you want to be that person but at the same time cannot get rid of your self-pity.

Once you get comfortable with self-pity it can be really hard to get rid of it. It needs serious efforts but it is always a good riddance. To begin with, you need to know that everyone has their fair share of ups and downs in their lives. Secondly moving on is an integral after any heartbreak. You need to find happiness in you work, be it your daily chores or any passion that you are following lately. Keeping yourself busy during this whole time of healing is also very important and can speed up the riddance process. Above all, be proud that you have already made though a lot of it and be grateful that although you have a short life like anyone of us, you still have plenty of time to make it big and make yourself happy. Take charge of your life and go for it, one day at a time.

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